True story. This morning on a very crowded subway...
ME: Excuse me. Excuse me.
SOME RUDE GUY: It's rush hour. Why would you carry a six foot tree onto a busy subway?
ME: I've got to get it out of the apartment, and the city just adopted a "pay-as-you-throw" garbage pick-up policy. I'm going to dump it downtown on some street. Christmas is over, you know? I don't need this anymore.
RUDE GUY: It's June. What are you still doing with a Christmas tree in your apartment?
ME: Never got around to getting rid of it. Something just kept coming up. Not my fault.
RUDE GUY: Like what?
ME: I don't know. Valentine's Day, then St. Patrick's Day, then Yom Kippur. It's just been non-stop this year.
RUDE GUY: I suppose you still have your Christmas lights out, hanging on your house.
ME: Dude. Slow down. One day at a time. One day at a time.
SOME RUDE MIDDLE AGE WOMAN: You better not be turning those Christmas lights on every night. That's a waste of energy.
ME: Well, it's a waste of energy to turn them off. I'm exhausted at night.
The subway stopped at a stop then, and someone stood out of their seat and walked out. I immediately stood the tree up in the empty seat, the ceiling bending the top of the tree.
RUDE GUY: What are you doing?
ME: It's okay. Just leave it there. It's not bothering anyone.
RUDE GUY: You can't just dump your garbage on the subway before you go to work every morning.
He was saying this as I was reaching inside my backpack and pulling out a garbage bag filled with trash, and then moving to jam it beside the Christmas tree.
ME: What do you expect me to do? It's "pay-as-you-throw" now. I can't pay every time I want to throw something out. This new policy is killing me!
The subway stopped at my stop then, and as I walked out with the rest of the crowd, I emptied all my pockets out onto the floor with old wrappers, used tissue and a scrunched-up soda can.