Thursday, June 14, 2007

Make it happen!

Dear Diary,

"Many things can happen in one's life if they choose to be busy."

I got chills when I first thought up that saying. It's the advice I now whisper to myself if I get up in the morning. In the past I didn't have much to do because my chosen outlook was "Avoid doing anything that keeps you busy from now on."

I have never wanted to do anything. Ever. I hate doing anything where I have to do something. Hate bowling, parades, majorettes, tanning, playing dead. All these "leisure" activities are exhausting to me because in each and every one you have to actually "do something". I'm too tired. I'd rather lie on my couch, close my eyes and not open them until someone else needs the couch. And then I'm hopping mad. "What's wrong with you!" I'll sometimes yell. "Can't you see I don't enjoy anything else in my life! I've got nothing! No, please. Have the couch. You have everything else in life - why not take away my measly 3 minutes of rest? I have nothing, so why would I need that? Answer me that? I can't think of an answer, because I'm so depleted emotionally and physically from having nothing. I can barely stand."

I love a good afternoon nap where when you wake up, you have no clue what time it is, where you are or who you are. I also love "missing time". Like if you ask me what I was doing yesterday afternoon and I suddenly stare blankly at you and reply, "I don't remember... I don't remember anything from the past twenty-four hours!" Love that. Then I don't feel responsible for anything bad or stupid I may have done.

But Diary, people HAVE to do stuff. I know it sounds preachy, but you don't want a wasted life. Go out there and record a best selling album, make a movie and win an Academy award, put an end to our dependence on corn and ethanol. You CAN do it! Anything less, consider yourself a failure.

No comments: