Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Gearing up for PRIDE

Dear Diary,

Our office today is abuzz with our plans for Pride Week here in our city. We're a small accounting firm and we have two employees who are openly gay: Don and Dot. Don is a gay man, and Dot is a lesbian. Charisse thought it would be a great show of support for our two gay friends if our office had its own float in the Gay Pride Parade this coming Sunday. Our boss, Sheila, wholeheartedly agreed and made it mandatory for all.

During this morning's meeting, Charisse showed us our dance routine and we were all fitted for costumes. I have dibs on a business suit and travel mug for the "gay business man on-the-go" look. Howard, who's about sixty, and an ex-drill Sargent in the army, was last to pick and he got the "leather thong and heavy chains" outfit. He's been walking around the office all morning with the most shell-shocked, wide-eyed look on his face. But he was so apathetic about the whole thing in our morning meeting, and when Charisse announced that the costumes were to be found in the lunch room, he didn't scramble for his life like the rest of us.

Aboard our float, we will be dancing to Bronski Beat's "Why?" and Sheila, Dot and Charisse, who all wanted to "sex things up" a bit, are having Howard (since he chose the "leather thong and heavy chains" outfit) on all fours, gyrating his hips and throwing back his head to the beat, as the rest of us whip him with real leather whips. Don did remind all of us that our float is not by any means representative of the overall experience of being gay, but that a little "play" in the bedroom never hurt anyone. We all applauded and then gave him a standing ovation, as Howard sank deeper into his chair, all color gone from his face.

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