Tuesday, December 8, 2009

We Gave Our Word

Dear Diary,

My friend Todd and I now live in alleyways in NYC and perform sketches at comedy clubs as a duo. We've been in a rut lately since we've been doing this for almost a year now and the last time we made someone laugh was each other and that was more than a year ago when we had the giggles, way before we started our comedy duo. Times are tough, and someone outside our troupe might suggest we do something else for a living but we made a decision long ago that we would see this comedy duo thing through and we're not about to give up now. I'm still not quite clear what we meant by "seeing this through" but I hope Todd will let me know when we have finally "seen this through" because this is a terrible life we're leading.

We had a breakfast meeting at McDonald's this morning.

TODD: That was a horrid show last night.

ME: We really suck at this. What do you think we should do?

I was hoping then that Todd would say that we had finally seen this through and that I could have my life back.

TODD: Well, we did say we would see this through and I'd hate to give up now after all we've put into this. After everything we've built.

ME: What did we build?

TODD: A following.

ME: The only time anyone ever followed us is when that audience at The Crab Hut chased us off the stage and down two blocks, threatening to kill us. And then calling the police to make sure we weren't still in the vicinity.

TODD: We said that we would see this through. Didn't we say that?

ME: Yes, we did say that... and we haven't seen this through, have we? I mean, have we by now... seen this through?

TODD: I don't know, have we?

ME: Did we already? I don't know?

TODD: You don't?

ME: I do, I mean... we haven't, right?

TODD: I don't know... I mean... what do you think?

ME: I think that we... I don't know... that we haven't... have we? I don't know...

TODD: You'd tell me if we did, right? If we've already seen this through?

ME: Of course, yeah. Totally. And you'd tell me too, right, if we've already seen this through?

TODD: Absolutely. Good. Then let's keep going, okay... I mean if this is something you really want to do.

ME: I just want to make sure that we see this through. That we get to that point where we know that we've seen this through, and whether or not we're getting closer to that point or we're just about to pass it or we already did pass it and one of us might not know.

TODD: This is for you. I'm just sticking around because I gave my word to see this through. For you.

ME: And I'm with you, even though I've never liked comedy and I enjoy performing it even less. I'd rather be murdered tonight than have to go back on stage but I said I'd see this through, and I'm not going back on that.

TODD: Let's just say that if it weren't for you, I would go back on my word and not see this through, but it's you and I have to see this through.

ME: I have had the worst year of my life. I struggle every day with whether I want to live or die because I'm hating my life right now, and every millimetre of my being loathes every second we waste on this comedy thing but I gave you my word. I gave it to you that we would see this through.

TODD: I have never been unhappier. Not even when my wife macerated my heart and filched everything I worked for since I was a fourteen-year-old orphan. Nothing I have ever gone through compares to the absolute garbage that has been these past eleven months, but we have to see this through.

ME: I guess we're on the same page. We're going to see this through.

TODD: As disappointed as I am, yes, let's drudge along in this dreck of an existence and see this through.

ME: How much longer do you think we have until we see this through?

TODD: As long as it takes.

ME: I might end my life before then, but I'll try not to, just so we can see this through.

TODD: I'll try not to as well.

We both had tears in our eyes as we got up from the table, and several times we had to alternate giving each other pep talks just so we could walk out of the McDonald's and face the stark reality that is our lives.

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